...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
