wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
