Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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