Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
