i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Randomize
