No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
