How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
