literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Randomize
