I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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