I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
