just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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