well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
