we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize