tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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