Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
