may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
