last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize