That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
