i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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