Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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