No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you win again, gameday.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
