and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
