And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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