she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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