tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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