I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
worst night to have a conscience
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
