wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
