Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
