My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
