I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
