If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize