people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
