I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
