Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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