Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
