i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
