So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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