This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
