I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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