Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
