my vag is so smooth its legendary
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
