I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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