Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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