i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
