i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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