I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I love having hate sex.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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