I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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