Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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