just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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