Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
