Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
