So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
