Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize