It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
