Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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