Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
