All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
