I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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