is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
