my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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