Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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