if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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