I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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