I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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