he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Someone signed my nipple.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
