it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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