I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
