i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
